An American in Asia: Signs You Live in China

Over the past two years, I've run into several things that make me shake my head and mutter "China...," often when trying to get a direct answer to something, because if the answer is not something the Chinese think I want to hear, they won't say it. The clash between honesty and courtesy is fascinating to me, although some days, it's also infuriating.

There are many wonderful things about living here: the weather is great, the people are very kind, we've travel to some beautiful, interesting places around China and throughout Asia, and the history and culture are fascinating. All that being said, there are some definite signs of miscommunication.

Literally, signs. So, here are some of the favorites ones I've collected over the past two years, certain to make you chuckle, especially if you live here:

First, the bathroom situation here is very different. We Tai-tais always say that if there is a toilet, toilet seat, toilet paper (that doesn't have to be thrown into the trash can), soap and paper towels, we must be in a high-class establishment.

Obviously, there are even more considerations than even those, including the Swimming prohibited sign posted over the toilet and toilet gymnastics. That doesn't even take into consideration the prohibition on pooping altogether. My friend found the virgin forest toilets thus go sign, but I'm not really sure what they were trying to say.

Food is also different, of course. What looks like snow peas to me seem to actually baked beans. And, of course, the offerings in western-style fast food restaurants are very unusual, compared to their counterparts in the U.S., such as this McDonald's menu, which features breakfast offerings of Sausage N' Egg Twisty Pasta and Grilled Chicken Twisty Pasta. But, whatever you eat, be sure to be Proud to Clean Your Plate.

Shopping is always interesting, usually involving a lot of bartering to which we Americans are unaccustomed. I imagine every one of us has heard "Hey, Lady, Hey Lady...," "My Friend...," and "Only for you," from the merchants in the fake markets.
It's always hard to know just how genuine things are we buy, although signs advertising "pure" would be helpful, if we knew what they are trying to say.

However, some of the signs the stores choose to advertise are somewhat baffling as well. Know any stores back home that are labeled as a "confluence?"

I will say that the sign for the Hotel Thing Confluence has always made me smile as I drive past it. In reality, it is a restaurant supply market.

Most of the signs that I've seen that cause me to scratch my head are those relating to nature and conducting ourselves outside. We've run across these in several cities, and it's actually the ones in "smaller" cities than Shanghai that are the most interesting.

I'm not sure what dabbling is, but you had better not be doing it. Also, no head stands in the water or playing and making fun. And, whatever you do, do not enter form the exit.

When traveling, you might see many interesting instructions. Most importantly, make civilization in riding and pay attention to safety. You may be thanked for care for the surroundings by your cultured sightseeing. But No foot on me I am green life!